Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm on the streets of Cardiff with Mr. Chris Corcoran and Wynne Evans ahead of the big game.

This is Rhod Gilbert, live, uh, on BBC Radio Wales, live on the streets of Cardiff __ __ __ said, where the, uh ... the sun is almost shining. It's, uh, it's dry. And Wales today take on England in the Millennium Center, and I'm joined by Mr. Chris Corcoran ... / No, mate, mate, mate, they play in the Millennium Stadium / Oh. What did I say? / "Center". / Oh, yeah. Thanks. / 'd be a very different gig, that. / this is largely why Korkey is here is just / correct the odd words / very difficult to __ __ __ theatre, mate. / Millennium Center / very nice building, but not able to take the, uh, capacity crowd of seventy ... eighty thousand people / __ __ __ turn__ up / __ __, but you'd better off playing in the Stadium. / we had / the roof __ be closed, apparently, today ... / Yeah. / ... I hear. ... Korkey is here __ __ rugby correspondent / I know absolutely nothing. I know absolutely nothing, uh, about rugby / here / street / Cardiff / talking to fans / we've got music, we've got ... / little features, rugby features to do with fans / I've got / omen / Yeah. Have you see any? / I haven't seen any yet. No. / I haven't seen any yet. / No. I haven't seen any. But we will ... you know, __ __ pick __ up during the day / early days / one, mate / our previous producer sent through an omen / a bit / I thought / what was it? / 何だっけ / Well, he cut his finger, and loads of red blood went all over a white tea-towel. / A brand-new tea-towel ... / Yeah. / ... that he bought in England? / like ... yeah / I / you plied saying, "What does that mean?" / I did? I did? / You idiot. It means that ... that the redness dominate__ and ruining / Welsh / pure white tea-towel / pure white day / that's presumably what it means, __n't it? / so, our ex- ... our ex-producer cut his finger ... / He cut his finger and bled __ went all over a white tea-towel, which is ... so, I read it as, "The red blood ruined the beautifully white tea-towel which is a metaphor for, like, a perfect day __ England" / Yeah. but you are an optimist. You are a glass-half-full person. / What ... / I read it as, "He's cut his finger." That's bad news. / Ah, right. Bad news. / That's bad news for us, innit? / He's Welsh, he cut his finger off. / Right. / the colors ... the metaphors of colors meant nothing to you? / I'd say what happened is ... / you just / first-aid basis / you are more worried about / I was more worried about / our producer's finger. That's what happened, innit? / I think ... I think / on a humanitarian level, I was right / Huh. There's difference between you and me / our producer / chop / his finger off / worried / tea-towel / I can see the confusion.

This is an omen, apparently. This is from Gareth in Griffithtown. "I __ __ in bed / looking out the windown / white clouds. Is that an omen? ... I'll be down in a bit." says Gareth in Griffithtown. He's in bed. He's coming popping down __ __ __ ... I'm not sure. Is that an omen / sort of / really / very soft and fluffy and not very assertive clouds, so, maybe it's a Welsh omen. / My omen. Another one. ... "I dropped the lid of a paint tin, gloss white, on the carpet this morning. / Here we go / red carpet / this is from / I dropped the lid of a paint tin / gloss white / on the carpet this morning / half-way / flipped / clean side down. / Right. / ... Hang on. I don't even understand this. "I dropped the lid of a paint ..." Oh, I see. Dropped the lid ... / Yeah, / ... but the paint side / clean side / white side was facing up. / Yeah? / What does that mean, then? / white side / facing up / Welsh win, you idiot. / whatever it says / Welsh win? / Yeah. This is a BBC Radio Wales radio show.

The mood is buoyant out there. Uh ... / I think ... I think we can / English man over there. Look, he's not buoyant. / Look at that. He knows what's coming. / Look at that. He knows what's coming. / He knows what's gonna happen / who is the c__y one as well? / Yeah. Look at that. / __ __ __ cheaky one / there's no point speaking __, mate. You haven't got a microphone. / Yeah. But he's f__y / cheaky / look at / 100 Welsh fans / one English bloke standing over there. / You've gotta start singing in a minute on his own, __ __ __ / He's ... / __ __ ... / He's like that bloke in the, uh, cowboy film / very cool. What's that ... / what's that bold one? Yul Brynner / what he reminds me of / he's not bold. He's got hair. He is like a hairy Yul Brynner. / Right. ... Are you sure that's the best comparison? / その比較は正しいのかな / He's just standing over there, looking / hands / pocket / his legs spread / his legs / just / like / thumbs sticking out of his pockets / in that cool, Yul Brynner way. / He's got his new shoes on as well, that. __ __ __ all nice and s__dy way. You wait till ... you wait till / spots on later on this evening. / We should, uh ... we should get a microphone on him / nobody / look at Wynne Evans / Go on, Wynne / run / don't run, Wynne, for god's sake. / Wynne Evans is supposed to be, uh ... he's supposed to be mingling with the fans __ __ __ man in the street / Wynne Evans / opera singer / and / now global entertaining superstar __ __ Gio Compario adverts. / You'll love me. / I do love / I love you, Wynne, but you are supposed to be mingling with / fans / English / no microphone with him / standing about ten yards away, just watching what was going on / because / you / paid for this. / Well, he's in. He's in / where have you come from? / B__ / OK. / he's very cool. Look at him __ __ ... look at him / still suffering from yesterday from __ __ / just __ a nice easy start / yet / you / start / picking on me, don't you? / 昨日飲みすぎてまだ頭が痛いんだからほっといてよ / you're not cool. You are just massively hungover / Are you, uh ... are you just here on your own / Nuh, nuh / I'll meet some guys / Tiger Tiger in a minute, and, uh, / classy / that a good joint, there / yeah, yeah, that's the place to be / yeah, yeah, / check out the traditional pubs. Good work. / 地元のひなびたパブを訪ねようというのだね。いい心がけだ。 / typically Welsh, Tiger Tiger / そうそう、古き良きウェールズを今に伝えるタイガー・タイガー。 / yeah, that's / indiginous animal / 原生種といっていい。 / look at that / that's typical English, that is / go abroad, look / you boys, this was / Welsh / blamed us then / organized by one of you boys, like there's a department somewhere, sending all English people to Tiger Tiger today. / イングランド人をすべてタイガー・タイガー送りにするという策略が進行中じゃないのか / well, we know where th__'ll be / now then / let's / prediction / from you, sir / it's gonna be a tight game, but we should do it. / Wo, wo ... really? / England / England / OK / now, based on reality? / two years ago / you guys __ competent / well / all right / what happened two years ago / oh, yeah / lost / Cheerio ! Thanks for getting involved. / No worries.

What I love these days / since __ skin-tight shirt __ __ __ very different visual spectacle, isnt't it? Look at that guy there / wearing / extra extra extra / like / normal / buggy shirt on / Oh, yeah. / That should be skin-tight. / look / Wynne Evans / zipped down there as fast as / talking to this chap now / got there? / Who are you? / That's the way. That's the kind of aggressive Radio Wales questioning / like / I gotta say, when I / Welsh rugby shirt / kind of / look / what size is this rugby shirt? / I don't know, mate. / Rhod / rugby / if you look at him now, / pick a size, what size / What? Is this ... is this a feature? / This is a feature. What size is this man ... / in my time / but this is a new low. What size / bloke / shops in town, right? 'Cause all the sizes / smaller / bloke / skin-tight top / sometimes / no top on at all ... and I walk into the shop / look at me, as if to say, "Nothing for you in here, you fatty" ... You know that feeling? / No. / No. / That's an extra large. That man / extra large / I like this feature. I'll tell you what / I do ... I do like a pointless feature. This is pointless, "Guess the size of that man's shirt / and I go for ... / I don't need / I can see the size of that man. I could ... I could tell you, uh, he's roughly ... he's roughly five ... five seven twelve stone ten. Am I right? / ... Honest to god, twelve nine. / 12 9 ! Look at that ! / Uh ... what about the height? What about the height? / What do you mean, "12 10"? / what about the height, mate? What about the height, mate, what about the height? / I don't have a clue, mate / That is so Welsh, don't even know how tall you are / ウェールズ人らしいな。自分の身長も知らないとは。 / how old are you, John? / I / I know / still have tape measures / even / いくらなんでも巻尺くらいあったろう？ / how / 38. / John ... / he's had a hard life / 苦労したんだなあ。 / I can see / I'm not an idiot. / 52. / You are 52, John, and you don't know how tall you are? / Nuh. / I've never met anyone who's g ... / I __ __ diet. / How tall were you before you started diet, then? / ダイエットする前の身長は？ / 6 / Were you? / lost 5 inches? Fair play, John. You've done well. / じゃあ５インチ縮んだのか。よくやった。ダイエットに成功したじゃないか。 / what, uh ... / I like / is a large / that's my guess. Korkey? / Fantastic. / don't give it away, John / a clue / we'll have look in a minute, John. Relax. / OK. ... I'm nervous. Am I on the radio? / It is, uh, uh, uh ... triple-X large / Large / Korkey / XXXL / for / look / back, mate. / it's a large. Well done, Rhod. / I'll tell you what. I wanna measure his height. / got / anybody / 5 f__ 7 / 5 6 / you / perfect / front / mate / John, ... John's gotta be an inch taller than this man. / look at his / itself / Oh, no. He's more like ... John, you're more like 5 9. Get back to the K__ / I do like this feature. Anyone else's got / guess the size / who's that guy there? There's another one there / got / get him, get him get him, Wynne, get him / deceptive because / he's got a bit of a belly. ... Right? / I mean __ __ __ / First of all, I'm going for / 8 48 / Close. / All right. I'm going ... / I can't ... / All right. I'm going, height, / 6 f__ / Correct. / You're good at this. / weight ... here we go. Let's have a look at him. ... Let's have a look at him. Weight ... 14 stone 2 pounds / way off / 17 2 / You're not 17 stone 2. / get a scale / Korkey, get the scales out / Wayne, get the scales out / ハカリを持って来い / Yeah. / Are you really 17 ... oh, ... well, well well well ... ladies and gentlemen, / ほんとだ ... / round of applause / man

In 1991, I, uh, was in __ university in __, took an English girl who / no interest in rugby / you know, the __ Park / sort of thing for that experience / you wait for the atmosphere / you wait for / Wales win / I don't think / lost in Cardiff / 28 years or something / yeah, yeah / then / absolutely sumptuous / Oh, no. / and she suddenly took / interest / I suddenly lost interest, ... and, um ... finished with her that night. / did you? / principle / yeah / principle / good for you / My wife's n__ / I didn't / my wife / lives in England / I / bigger problems than that / __ you? / it wasn't / rugby / what were the issues? / Well ... we should talk about / off-air / it was mainly in the, uh ... / old S A C K / was it? / Yeah. / Right. / ... Another day. / OK. / Well, was it, was it ... / was it you or her? / well ... well, she did say, "It's not ... it's not you. It's me, Rhod." So, it must have been her. / Right. / I took that __ __ face value / you / sleep in a sack / Yeah. ... Oh yeah, did I tell you / romantic, mate / duvet / you, of all people, should know about that / 誰よりも君が一番よく知っているはずだ / That's what / talking / into it. ... My wife's niece / England versus Wales in Cardiff 20 years ago / Wales won / what was the score, Korkey? / which one / 20 years ago / Um ... I don't know / 10-9? No? / it was 10-9 / good work, Corcoran / what an omen / come on, Wales / in France. Huh, here you go / Hi Rhod / somebody cheered that. Somebody cheered the fact that __ __ __ in France / is that / French person / over there / Welsh person / just / random / desparate to cheer anything at the moment. ... "Hi, Rhod and Korkey. I'm on my way to the match / already drunk too much. / Good. That's the spirit of welshmen / fairly frequent basis / I'm on my way to / does English national flag have a nice ..." Oh, dear, I can't read that one out. I wish ... I do ... / What was that? Let me see. / I wish ... I wish / Ahgg, for goodness sake / production team would __ the email / before I read them out. I get handed out all sorts of inappropriate things. It's only my skill as a presenter that stops me from reading out filth like that / and it doesn't even make sense / I'm so __ed / read / out loud / just to prove / doesn't make sense / I'd better not / shall I read it out? / Nuh, I need this ... I need this job. / クビになりたくないし / I hope ... does English ... no, we can't. / You can't. You really ... well, OK, you can / just bleep it / ピーを入れればいいよ / You can't bleep it. It's live / 生放送だぞ / bleep it / bleeper / 口でピーと言えばいい / ironic / ourselves / you idiot. / bleep / wouldn't / All right. / After three. One, two, three, bleep / monkey / everyone / heard the word "monkey" / substitute / all / trouble / 「モンキー」って聞こえたってさ。これが放送禁止用語だったら大変だったよ。 / two / word / two / two-syllable bleep, wouldn't I? / All right. Go. / or a longer bleep / how how many ... how many syllables / single syllable / Huh, OK. / All right. / one, two, three, bleep / did you hear that? / yeah / see? / cat / cat / cat だ！確かに cat と言ったぞ！　... って、そんなにエキサイトしなくても / BBC Wales immediately / he went ... he went, "__ __ Cut! ... Yes!" / it's the highlight of this day so far. ... Look at him, drinking orange juice out of a 1-litre carton, huh? What a loser ! / you / that ... that is the __ Welsh / you remember / advert / guy / kind of ... I don't know ... / get / sort of sports car, in a sort of / he had his ... his dicky bow / had / undone / like / dinner suit on / jacket / in a casino / Monte Carlo all night and spend / money / but he was still very s__, handsome, sophisticated / good / Welsh equivalent / man / bloke in a rugby jersey, drinking a litre of orange juice on the street. ... That's the equivalent, innit? / with his office suit on / with an office blazer ... hey, let's play "How big is that bloke?" / crowd has really taken this feature / oh, they love it / it's amazing / rubbish / Radio Wales / get / away / five / three quarters? / No. / How close am I? / Umm ... a couple of inches out. / Sorry, a small child's just collapsed. / I should have showrn more concern? / so should I, but we are in the middle of the game / his mother's laughing / look what kind of mother is she ! / look / what / child / one side / get back to the feature / I / five / he's not five nine / five ten / Wynne's got it. five ten. / five ten / It must be the heels. / 靴のかかとせいで見誤ったかもね。 / Yeah / to be honest / weight / Oh god. / second / Rhod can get a full ... / See what I mean? / yes / I'm helping you now, Rhod. / You are not really helpful / for those who / what Wynne's doing is, holding the man's blazer open so that ... so that I can see how his frame ... / built underneath / to be honest with you, Wynne, / really need to do that. / Yeah, but the blazer hides / it doesn't hide / blaoting caused by the litre of orange juice. /

we are ... are gonna play / Drop Goal / ladies and gentlemen, which is / little / we've got some fans / I presume out ... our production team / searching out / fans / holding up / little name card / this / never happend before / production team / made you write / you are holding up in front of me / we have got two English / that is the situation / meet our English fans first. Two English fans, both ladies, very / flags / jersey / red rose on the cheek / yes, hello / yes, hello / Hello. Where are you from? / live in Cardiff, but I'm from Portsmouth / very nice / but I'm from Oxford. / Really? That's a step up. ... Uh, now then, H__ and E__, welcome to the show. We're gonna play / general / quiz / quiz / give us a sense of who / pitch / good English / Welsh fans, we have / I can see your names / Mark and Ruth / paper / hello / you look incredibly Welsh / all red / you / d__ed out anyway. ... Where __ you from, Ruth? / Reading / oh heck ... oh, heck / English fans / live in Wales / and you live in England / why not / Emma / in the first / drop-goal competition. ... Do you know the rules? / No. / Right. / this / quiz / Hayley, Emma, get a grip / sorry / concentrate / you need to concentrate / test ... test your knowledge of one another / knowledge of / on culture / sport / language / on general knowledge, on literature, on art ... right? / be / yeah / don't worry. I've rigged it. Uh ... / absolutely fine / from Wales / on the first drop goal / basically, if you / question / 5 points / Korkey / score / question / five points / award you / conversion question / win / possible / anything / completely arbitrary / decided by me at any point of the game. I can / feel / particularly out of order / particularly cheaky / any stumbles or stutters / award the question to the other team. Are you ... do you understand? / Vaguely. / Korkey / things / scoring card ready? / Yes. / Good. OK. Round 1. General knowledge / English fans, you are up first. / according to / population / I've chosen five names / you only have to name two of the five / I have chosen / first names? / full names / give you a clue / they / all live in / area / five names / random / I need two of those names. / Well ... / pick something obvious like / David / you're not picking those, are you? Oh, you are picking / I am / you are / aren't / David / you are going for? ... No. / How many choice__ / five / you / five go's / second name / I ... I need a whole name, please / Michael John? / let me just check / five names ... Michael ... no. / just / people you know / listen, it does have / system / this round / I don't live in / area. I'm not / electoral role / can I / point out / different quiz. / あの、ちょっといいかな。これは目の前にいる人の名前を当てるクイズじゃないから。/ name / people / in front of you now / I know / Simon ... Jones / No. Two more. / close, though / Jones / was that close? / Jones / Oh, god / name / Grace Jones / Grace Jones / Rhonald Jones / you could / I would have accepted / half point? / no / Dean Smith / Desmond Griffith / Welsh fans / general / subdivisions / consisted of four levels of sub-national division / local government / the highest tier of local government / nine / north / east / south west and London. Many things / we now recognize / distinctly / nine regions / Yorkshire pudding is named after which region of England? / ヨークシャー・プディングはイングランドのどこが起源でしょう？ / can we / Rhod / discuss / Um, it's a long shot but __ and I think that ... it could be ... Yorkshire? / 自信ないけど ... ヨークシャー？ / five / this / two / so / called / no / could be? Could it be / a sausage / you'd better not be serious, Mark. ... It's a hole / middle of it / say that / come on / question again / as / well / matter / middle of the pudding / hole / hole / not / Korkey / hole / the answer / your question / sausage / OK. On this one occasion / 今回だけですよ / ... on this one occasion, I will ... I will __ to the majority / democracy / majority / sausage / That is __ __ __ __ ! ... Round 2. A question about language. Questions for you, English fans, / about Welsh language / own / known / as Welsh / Yeah, if you say so. / はいはい。 / Yellow card. / I think that ... that / one / warning / any more of that / own language / Welsh / majority of people speak English. However / Welsh people speak English / words and phrases / include / keep / in a minute / but can you complete this well-loved Welshism? ... "What are you looking at? I'll ..." ... That's it. That's the start / "What are you looking at? I'll ..." / come / must / thousand times / you think? / Yeah. / oh / Newport / probably / "knock you" / not / you / far / smash your face in / what are you looking at? / I don't care about nothing / how do we know / give / conversion question anyway / how / different alphabet / English / 26? / 8. ... OK. ... Over to Wales. / a clue / over / Wales / regional / completely different from Londoners. But where / this accent come from? / five points / all right / give you more clues if you want. / fancy / cream tea / D__ cream tea / it's not / I ... I don't ... yeah, go on / Devon / Somerset / to be honest / southwest / conversion question / 2 points / can you tell me why / c__ rhyming slang / is it / refer / or is it becaue English men / fear / women / belittle / belittle / by labelling / identically / sense of identity / seven / OK / 3. Here we go / English fans about Wales / china / rice / vast population / and rice is at the heart of Chinese and Asian q__. / while / potato / beloved / versatility / ingredient / Welsh c__ is / creative fusion of east and west / can you give me an example / welsh / unique / east and west that characterize Welsh cooking / Welsh cakes? / Welsh cakes? That's your guess? It's not / does anybody know? / curry / source / half / chips / half rice half chips / give you / chicken / popular dishes / or C: Don't know. Nobody knows. / Don't know. Nobody knows. / No points. / Welsh / culture / writes / angry / or B: / in the face / something like that / I think / B / conversion / Thomas / voice / black / fingernails / C / recently / just / talking about / Thomas / right up your sleeve / B / right up / your / sleeve / English fans / economy / iron works / steel works / 1845 / how many tons of iron were produced each year? / nearest t__ / help you out / major / steel / peak circulating / 1845 / how many / to the nearest ten / seven million / a / as your friend / even they are heckling you. "why ..." / even / why the "seven" / has a point / why / seven / well, I'm afraid / trick question / peak / wasn't 1845, but it was ... it was / 29 / the answer I would have expected / four hundred / look, we are ... we are out of time, I'm afraid / score / England: 0 / Huh. For Wales? / Wales, 21. / we / drop-goal / Korkey / stage / game / give you a chance / score / 21 points to bring ... to give you a draw / you know, in an effort to be fair / 21 points to tie this game. ... In Wales ... now, you both live here / Newport, Hayley / seen / you will know / you know / this / you are not the loser you think you are. / あなたがたは自分で思っているような負け犬じゃないから。 / In Wales, where would you expect to find a sign with M__ P__ on it? / usually / this quiz / English people / lived in Wales / right / you live ... do you drive a car? / Yeah. / seen / what / Uhgg ... so close. ... It's ... it's half way up a pole / was the answer / we were looking for / accepted

If you enjoyed that, why not listen to the whole show? Rhod / live on Saturday morning / 11 till 1.

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